How to Survive a trip to IKEA

blinkingkills:

kedreeva:

  • Never go alone- bring a partner. Travel in pairs
  • Before entering, ensure that someone not entering knows you are going in, and when you expect to be out
  • Before entering, determine the cause of your mission- your mission objective. Bookcase? Couch? Oven? Meatballs? Figure it out
  • Upon entering, locate The Path
  • Do not disengage from The Path until you have reached your mission destination. Many have been lost forever to the wilds of IKEA by not obeying this. Very few are ever located again by the sparse store employees.
  • Upon reaching your mission destination, you may disengage from The Path ONLY when accompanied by your partner (physical contact should be maintained- ie, holding hands, holding shirt sleeve, both holding an end of a rope, etc)
  • When you disengage from The Path to acquire the data for your mission objective (ie, the item number for the bookcase, couch, meatballs, etc), it becomes your partner’s responsibility to maintain visual contact with The Path. Much like weeping angel statues, The Path will move if not actively being watched. This will strand you and your partner in the wilds of IKEA, so ensure you choose a partner wisely.
  • Upon acquiring the mission objective data (ie the item number), navigate back to The Path. You may disengage physical contact with your partner once you have safely returned to The Path
  • Do not leave The Path again. It will naturally end at the warehouse/stock section. This is a long, huge hall with many branches.
  • At the entrance of the warehouse section, acquire a cart if necessary. Using your item coordinates, locate your mission objective. Do not leave the main hallway except for the branch where your item is located. Like The Path, the wilds of IKEA sometimes sneak up on travelers that wander the warehouse section
  • Once your item has been loaded, head to the check out section. Do not touch anything in the boxes along the way. They appear to be full of candles or stuffed animals or useful kitchenware; it is a ruse. They are carnivorous.
  • After checking out, exit to the loading area. Load your item, and leave.
  • Do not look in your rearview mirror as you leave. It shouldn’t pursue you if you don’t look back.

is this nightvale’s ikea what the hell


As a random thought…

morenavbby:

So in the comics Hawkeye has 80% hearing loss.

The Black Widow is Russian.

Can you imagine when they’re on a mission and something goes wrong; the police are about to arrest them and they fall back on Plan H.

Black Widow, “So remember, you’re deaf and I don’t speak English”


realityisonlythebeginning:

dancetaire:

kittengrantaire:

If you mention “students” and “France” in the same sentence, there’s a 24601% chance that I’ll start talking about les amis

if you mention France
at all, there is a 24601% chance I will start talking about les mis.

if you engage me in any sort of conversation there is a 24601% chance I will start talking about Les Mis.


celestial-sexhair:

disadvantages of having thick hair

  • your head is always 100000 degrees
  • shedding everywhere
  • snapping thin combs
  • spend $100 on dye if you want to color it
  • hair is still wet 2 years after you showered
  • styling your hair takes longer than growing it

advantages of having thick hair

  • ????

serafinacastaway:

batcii:

hermione & her boys

OKAY NO LET ME EXPLAIN YOU A THING.My ENTIRE CHILDHOOD, this is what I imagined Hermione looked like. A curly haired girl of color who looked something like me, who had a hard time making friends like me because she was intelligent and sometimes she thought too much and didn’t have a problem losing herself in a book. I even ARGUED, tooth and nail with the other students in my class about my headcanon and questioned why she COULDN’T look like me, what was wrong with her looking like me, and why they felt she HAD to be white. When I found out she wasn’t thanks to the movies, there was a kind of disconnect from her character, and the way I closed that disconnect was to ignore canon and keep picturing her as someone like me. I stopped talking about my headcanon to avoid arguments and name calling and teasing, but I never ever let go of the idea of a POC Hermione.So to the artist, THANK YOU FOR DRAWING MY HERMIONE.

serafinacastaway:

batcii:

hermione & her boys

OKAY NO LET ME EXPLAIN YOU A THING.

My ENTIRE CHILDHOOD, this is what I imagined Hermione looked like. A curly haired girl of color who looked something like me, who had a hard time making friends like me because she was intelligent and sometimes she thought too much and didn’t have a problem losing herself in a book. I even ARGUED, tooth and nail with the other students in my class about my headcanon and questioned why she COULDN’T look like me, what was wrong with her looking like me, and why they felt she HAD to be white.

When I found out she wasn’t thanks to the movies, there was a kind of disconnect from her character, and the way I closed that disconnect was to ignore canon and keep picturing her as someone like me. I stopped talking about my headcanon to avoid arguments and name calling and teasing, but I never ever let go of the idea of a POC Hermione.

So to the artist, THANK YOU FOR DRAWING MY HERMIONE.


continueplease:

the-treble:

fuck-benedict:

can we just collectively agree as a generation that we aren’t going to care if each other’s houses are clean when we visit bc im gettin real sick of the “the house has to be spotless or our guests will judge us” deal my parents got goin on

none of us in this generation is going to be able to afford a house.

Welcome to the house i share with 30 people.  My 4x4 foot square of space has been vacuumed for your visit.



midnightsun17:

thedaughterofvalentine:

thelastofthemorgensterns:

olplya:

Looking for something to read post-Hunger Games? Check out this great map. Whatever it was that you liked about Hunger Games (or other dystopia/science fiction/fantasy novels), you can find here!

DYSTOPIAN HEAVEN

Praise the person who had created this post

Awkward moment when you have already read all of those


shutupaubrey:

do you ever see a picture of someone with a body like yours and you’re momentarily comforted like they look pretty good…i probably look good too


jehanwritespoetry:

"What are we holding onto, Sam?"

Inspiration: (x)

Also thanks to pousseyyyy for all your help omg


theme